Collision

We have spent the last few days circling Austin Texas. In the pursuit of the perfect brisket. Also - in the hopes that we would somehow stumble across a plan for the rest of our lives once we wrap up the work The Lord has had us doing in Southern California for the last 9 years or so.

It occurred to me yesterday in the middle of our ramblings that I don't know very much. Blindingly, out of nowhere, I had this sudden urge to feel inadequate and humorously indifferent. Which usually wouldn't be words I would use to describe myself.

Not sure what was driving these emotions I did the normal introspective digging in the hopes that I could find the source of my pain and somehow convert that into knowledge that would one day save humanity. But alas it appears that may be a bit over reaching. So I decided to settle on a donut instead.

I had my donut on a bench outside of a food truck just off of South First and watched Austin "keep its city weird". In the process of this I came to a few conclusions.

#1. No matter how much we all would like for it to be true - we don't get to determine our own identity. At the very least we should agree that the determiner of our identities is "other" than us. As hard as it is to swallow you and I can only be labeled accurately by something other than ourselves. My own bias or brokenness would prevent an honest assessment any other way. All of our qualifying identity traits (whatever they may be) are simply observations that need to be made "by someone else". In my case, I'll believe what God says about me. You can come to your own conclusions about that....But nevertheless I don't get to draw out the narrative of what or who I am. Someone else must. By nature and the laws of physics - someone else must. Let me ask you a question: if you lived alone on the face of the earth with no one around to define you would you even need a name? See, that's what I'm talking about. Think about it.

#2. I'll never be able to wear skinny jeans.

#3. I could possible succumb to diabetes sitting right here on this bench.

#4. If that happens I'll probably be fine with it because the donut I just ate was worth it.

Live long and prosper...



- From the unstable mind of a dude that eats too many twinkies.