I Think I understand……

I think I understand a few things differently now.  Like, what really scares me.  Like, what things I have grown to dislike that I thought I would love forever.  Like, what the difference is in expectation and loudly hoping for something. 

I think I can see the difference God is making in my life in ways that surprise me.  I didn’t think I would ever be the middle aged guy who suddenly sounds conservative in his values.  But I looked in the mirror this morning and there he was.  In all his balding glory…….Now, I am not suggesting that God somehow is a Republican. Certainly not.  But what I am saying is that God is constant when we are not.  He doesn’t check the front page of Yahoo to confirm some shallow seeded conspiracy theory that the latest celebrity scandal will inevitably effect his existence.  But we do.  I know why we do that.  Because if we can find drama elsewhere in life it somehow diminishes our own.  Even making it invisible to our own eyes. What does this have to do with being conservative?  I thought you might ask that question…….

Being conservative in life is kind of like being conservative with your money.  You don’t go around spending your emotions unwisely.  You realize that some time in the near future, the choices you make today will matter.  They will matter in your life and the life of your children and grandchildren.  I think that conservatism is slow to act……much to our dislike sometimes.  But this may actually be the best way to live – slowly.  I think slow change is sometimes the best.  Something grows inside of us and one day it matures into action. By then, what we once only thought of is now actually part of our being.  This is how God moves in us most of the time – quietly and constantly. 

The really sad part of all this is that we associate conservative with anti – liberal nowadays.  That is a sad truth.  We shouldn’t do that.  I like the meaning of the word conservative when it is spoken out of political context and within spiritual context.  That is what is changing in me I guess.  I never really thought of myself that way.  But, I always knew God was that way: sometimes slow, sometimes quiet, not loud or boisterous, constant, never changing.  I think God is conservative with us, spending us wisely and slowly over a period of eternity.  Like the very best wine, time aged and ripe. 

If you thought this was a discourse on politics: shame on you The fact that we automatically associate “conservative value” with a republican platform scares me.  What about being conservative in our actions……in our words…….in our thoughts.  What does that have to do with who the President is?  I know lots of cutting edge left wingers who are conservative in many areas of their lives.  I love those types of people.  They usually are wise enough to see all the sides of an issue.  Not just their own…….

This is a discourse on living life slowly – being conservative with your emotions and spirit.  Saving those things for God.  We spent ourselves liberally in these areas and we suffer for it.  Pulling back from popular thought, or even action for that matter, is wise in most cases I think. Being “liberal” with your beliefs can lead to confusion if we are not careful.  To me, that means we spread our beliefs around like peanut butter on a sandwich.  Only to realize that we have missed the art of balancing the ratio of butter to jelly.  Then we are stuck with a water downed PBJ……..or in dire need of some milk.  Let’s not do that with our deepest love – the love for our Father.  Remember, its easy to add a dose of liberal if you see its needed, but darn near impossible to retract it by the time you have realized its too much.

Just a few thoughts.