Something Borrowed / Something New

I have had this constant undercurrent running through me lately.  It feels like the steady hum of a breeze rustling the fall leaves or the consistent buzz of crickets in the evening around an obscure pond.  It's there, just under the surface, all the time.  You can't really hear it if there is too much noise.  You need quiet.  Quiet is key to being sung to this way.

I use analogies that I haven't been able to experience really since we have been in Southern California for the last 5+ years.  Guess I miss a few things from the South huh?

The truth is this "undercurrent" that I hear and feel running through me is the Holy Spirit.  It's the voice of the Father.  The power of His love.  It's Jesus.  It's calling me to come.

I have been thinking a lot the last few weeks about the wooing of God.  I believe the Holy Spirit is present and constant.  I also believe WE react inconsistently to Him though.  Throughout history it seems that there are seasons when we notice the Spirit and react.  Also, however, there are the seasons we don't do so well at that.  Such is living.  I have often wondered why we are so stubborn, maybe scared, of the Holy Spirit.  Isn't that like saying we are afraid to experience our Father?  I know full well the abuses we as a people are capable of.  I have seen most of it first hand.  I have seen the Holy Spirit prostituted, bagged, tagged, and sold.  I am truly sorry for the people that approach God's presence this way.  They miss the point.  As do I at times.  They suffer for it too I'm sure. I certainly do.  It's ashamed, though, when we let these sorts of things stand in our way.  It's a real shame when we are controlled by our need to control.  I am as guilty of it as you are.  It's the battle we fight.

Finding the place in me where God is free to move how and when He wants to and I am not bound by my nature to fowl it up is tricky. Very tricky. Am I willing to risk letting go of balance? When my definition of balance is 80% me and 20% God. Maybe I should. I want to. I think this is the wooing of God. Calling me - and you - to a place where we redefine what "balance" is in our lives. I want nothing more for the people God has placed in my care than for them to experience the true heart of the Father. I also want my own heart to be ready to represent that to them given the chance and given the need for such.

So I am asking to borrow the heart of God while he creates a new one in me. I am asking that we don't love the Presence of God more than we love Him - oddly enough. I know that's a hard one to understand. What if my wife loved me only for what I did for her, or the way I made her "feel"?  My marriage wouldn't last would it?  I wouldn't feel very loved - just used.  Those feelings come and they go. What I really want is for her to prefer me - all the time. 

I guess that's the point..... That we don't prefer the way He makes us feel to who He is.  I want to be excited when I sense the Holy Spirit because that means that God is close.  Think of it like this - when I come home my wife can hear me shut the door,  she can hear me petting the dogs,  she can hear my footsteps,  she might even be able to smell my cologne.  She senses "my presence" by the way I have changed the enviroment of our home.  But the payoff for her should be when I come to her and actually take her in my arms and say "I'm home".  If that actually never happens then she just loves the fact that I'm there and sometimes that's enough, but not all the time. At this stage in my life my only real desire is to be in contact with God, not expecting or hoping to be in contact, but to BE in contact.  So I love the fact that His presence can be felt because it clues me into the fact that my Father has come to visit us, has come to heal, to grow us and change us, to hold us - whatever that looks like.

I believe if I feel that way I get the "balance" right -  Then I get to have both! Word and works? You bet. I believe that we will see a shift, at least in our own hearts, when we can pull the blinders off and head into Kingdom balance - "Less of me, more of You". Come Lord, Come! More of You. I am happy that You are You Lord. I am open to anything you want to do because of that....and only that. I must ask God to trim my heart that nothing grows out of turn. You must do the same. For when the gardener is at work that means He is present, close, at hand - He is coming. He can't prune you without touching you to do it. If we want to see more God, let's try opening our Gardens for Him to come and go to work. How about it?